Father-in-law died of illness, the wife did not see the last side, why the husband to his wife to hide the news?
No matter in family or career, whether you will meet the so-called “nice guy”, they not only kind helpful and have few words will only hard work, no matter under what circumstances, are “good good” and “line”, a pair of bow, respectfully, these people often get the praise of others, but at home if there is such a “nice guy”,Not only can not get the understanding and support of the family, but also because of this kind of “good old man” attitude causes the family war constantly.01 father-in-law dying, his wife did not see the last, was her husband to hide the news?Wenwen, a sophomore in Xinzheng city, is unable to study due to conflicts between her parents.In the face of their parents’ endless quarrel and cold war, Wen Wen is extremely painful, but helpless.Wenwen’s mother, Ms. Li, said that she and her husband had been married for 20 years and had a son and a daughter. Wenwen was in college and her son was in high school, but their happy home was now full of pain.Ms. Li took out her mobile phone and said that her husband had beaten her before, and she had left evidence.The photo shows a large bruise on Ms Li’s shoulder, which is unbearable to witness.Li said her husband beat her with his fists, hit her with a stool and tried to kill her with a knife.She went to the police station because of it.As the saying goes: one punch can break two hearts, and “domestic violence” can harm three generations.Quarrelling between husband and wife not only affects the relationship between husband and wife, if domestic violence occurs, the psychological shadow left by the child may affect the child’s life.Mr. Zhang admitted that he was wrong to beat his wife, but he said frankly: people know he is not a very fierce person.Lee is angry with her mother-in-law because her daughter-in-law is not on good terms with their mother, and the two children are not satisfied with their mother’s attitude.My son has been sleeping on the couch for a month, and my daughter’s grades are slipping.Zhang insisted that it was because his wife had been provoking family conflicts, and he could not bear it any longer before he attacked his wife.A tearful Ms. Li said her husband had turned her against her family more than a decade ago, and that her family was finally willing to talk to him two years ago, which reminded her of the past.But her grievance has become her husband’s mouth unreasonable, which she can not accept.Ms. Li said her mother died young, and her father raised four of her sisters, and she was the eldest.Ten years ago when she and her husband are working in a shoe factory in guangdong, my father critically ill, in the old family contacted her mother-in-law, then mother-in-law gave things told her husband, but her husband was not in a timely manner to convey the message to her, so she always think myself with my father can’t see the last side, is the cause of the husband and mother-in-law.Zhang explained that at the time, he thought his father-in-law was just ill in hospital, so he didn’t inform his wife immediately.That night, he consulted with his wife and went home the next day to see the old man, but the next day they were told that the old man had passed away.It made her look bad in front of the family, and he felt humiliated.It is not only a matter of losing face in front of her family, it is a lifelong regret. It is not a matter of losing face, it is a regret.It must have been hard for her to know that her own daughter didn’t know her father had died, and that someone in the family knew, but didn’t tell her.But Mr. Li kept saying: I know, I know.Mr. Zhang admitted quickly, but he still insisted that it was his wife who started the family conflict.Seeing his father has been persistent, Wen wen said that her mother, Ms. Li, is always complaining because she has grievances in her heart.It turned out that a year after Ms. Li’s father died, her father-in-law suffered from cerebral infarction, and Ms. Li began to take care of his daily life.This year, my father-in-law is 80 years old, suffering from cerebral infarction for eight or nine years, and her mother-in-law is suffering from terminal lung cancer, her husband’s sister and sister neither contribute nor contribute, regardless of the old man.Li believes that over the years, her husband never really understood her grievance or saw her efforts.Zhang is the only son in the family. Zhang’s parents have been living with the Family for years, but in recent years, the two elderly people have become unable to take care of themselves, and Li has become unable to take care of the elderly. She hopes her husband’s two sisters can come to help.But Mr. Zhang thinks he can afford to spend 800 or 800 yuan a month on his parents. His sisters can take whatever they want, and he doesn’t want to be angry about it.But what the wife meant was that she wanted the two sisters to take some money, because the two had a disagreement, and Ms. Li said her husband did nothing.I could hear that Mr. Zhang wanted to be a good person in front of the two sisters, and didn’t want to hurt their relationship by supporting them. In his opinion, the family was able to take good care of them now.Hearing his father say this, Wen Wen could not accept it.Wen Wen said that it was because her grandparents were sick and needed money. So far, it was her parents who had to bear the burden. They were making money outside every day, so they had no time to take care of the elderly.If she took care of her grandparents all day, she would have no time to do her own things. Helplessly, she told her aunt about the current situation at home, but they were unwilling to come with all kinds of excuses.Unexpectedly, in order to take care of his grandparents, Wenwen’s studies have been delayed.Because they have two sick elderly people and two children who are going to school, in order to maintain the family expenses, Ms. Li and Mr. Zhang both need to work outside, so Wenwen began to take care of the elderly, facing the double pressure of study and life, Wenwen can not bear.And that’s what she was really angry about.Li said it was because her husband wanted to be a good man that he took all the responsibility on himself.We found that Mr. Zhang did not realize that his avoidance of the problem had caused his wife and daughter to get into trouble.As the couple explained the process, we noticed that Mr. Zhang kept saying, “I know,” and his catchphrase reflected his problem.Psychological consultant division lets Miss Li be aimed at Mr Zhang to the grievance in his heart and sad and depressive know can dozen a few minutes?Ms. Lee gave it a zero.Hearing his wife’s grading, Mr. Zhang was silent.It can be seen that Mr. Zhang did not really understand his wife’s feelings.For example, Just now Ms. Li said that her father’s death was like a thorn in his heart, but when his wife told him, Mr. Zhang kept chipping in to say “I know” instead of listening.In real life, the people who try their best to show their clarity don’t really understand the feelings of others. When they say “I know”, they tend to ignore the inner world of others.For example, Mr. Zhang claimed that he knew his wife, but in fact, his knowledge was only superficial. He did not know his wife’s real feelings, including her guilt, anxiety and pain. His husband even used a word to say that she lost face.No face want to know, this is not a problem, he did not understand his wife this kind of feeling, miss got the chance to see his father one last time and she for so many years to take care of the process of in-laws, will be countless times appeared in my mind is how to get their parents, even has no chance in front of my parents filial, this kind of guilt had not experienced people can’t understand her feelings.Therefore, she takes care of her in-laws for eight or nine years with all her heart. On the one hand, this is a daughter-in-law’s care for her in-laws. On the other hand, she also contains a so-called compensation for her lack of filial piety in front of her parents.For the past, if Mr. Zhang had an attitude, or a heartfelt comfort to his wife, she would not have suffered for so many years, so sad for so many years.After some persuasion, Mr. Zhang began to realize that he had neglected his wife’s feelings and his own responsibilities all these years.If you want the family to live a better life, as a son, Mr. Zhang should make a change from the matter of supporting the elderly and assume the responsibility of the family.After a moment’s silence, Mr. Zhang called his sister.On the phone, Mr. Zhang’s sister said that she would find a suitable time to visit two old people in the home, discuss the elderly support problem.Seeing things moving forward, Ms. Li stopped blaming her husband.Many families have the painful experience of being a “nice guy”.They are good people on the outside, but at home they are hated by their wives and children.Why is that?It is because of this kind of old man, they always want to take care of everything, want to take care of everyone, but only ignore the people around him, to finally come to the inside and outside is not a person.The so-called “good old man”, someone is summed up like this: good people, rely on a kind heart;To be a good man depends on a fickle face.Mr. Zhang said that he was known to be not a fierce man, but he beat his wife black and blue all over, either by hitting her with a stool or cutting her with a knife. This behavior has exceeded the standard of a good man, and it is a crime if he goes too far.So his “nice guy” label and “I know” mantra are really self-deception.This self-righteous know, in fact, is a hypocritical escape.In our marriage life, we need to be real and sincere. We don’t just want to be a nice guy outside and be praised and praised by others, but be a devil at home. We should be a real person inside and out.In life, to change “I know” into “I will change” to remember: life’s biggest enemy is yourself.The biggest failure in life is arrogance.The greatest folly in life is to cheat.The reason why people suffer, lies in the pursuit of the wrong thing.Therefore, Mr. Zhang should reflect on his own problem, the culprit of family disharmony, in fact, is himself.He only asks his wife to pay, but he doesn’t see how much she contributes to the family. He often beats and scolds his wife.In fact, What Mr Zhang lacks is the care and love to his wife, want to “I know” three words, become “I will change” just be really fond of his wife to pay hard to this home.3. Don’t deprive your family of your responsibility to support your parents. As he said, he doesn’t feel valuable in this family.As a husband, he is the woman to lean on, not the one to give her orders.Because of his male chauvinism behavior, his wife is more disappointed to him, on the problem of supporting parents, he abuse fill “old good man”, this accords with the principle of doing things of old good man very much, would rather suffer grievance oneself also do not refuse others, but do so, won’t be remembered truly however.Mr. Zhang seems to be a big supporter, but in fact he is depriving his sister and sister of their due responsibilities and obligations, ignoring his daughter’s studies and his wife’s care for their parents.There is nothing more irresponsible to your wife, to your children, to your family than to take self-righteousness for granted.Do you like such “nice guys” in real life?Welcome to leave comments and discuss!